In a previous blog post, I described myself as "a Christian who believes in gay marriage." A family member invited me to clarify my views, so here I go. While I stand by my position, I take no pleasure in writing this blog--in fact, I wrote it weeks ago and have been since trying to decide whether or not to post it. It saddens me that this is such a divisive issue. I will not think any less of anyone who respectfully believes anything else, and I am asking you to do the same.
Disclaimer: I hope that this is a post that will open eyes and not harden hearts, embrace grace and not sin, and draw others to Christ. I welcome dialogue, as always, but on this post especially I would ask you to weigh your words carefully, as I am, before commenting. I am disappointed by the backlash I have already received regarding this issue. I will not be linking this post to Facebook.
Let me start with the Bible's position on homosexuality. As Christians, we choose to accept and abide by the words within it, so it must be the starting and ending point in any discussion of morality. To those of you skeptical about Christianity, this part might sting, or even infuriate you. Take a deep breath. In, out.
You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. - Leviticus 18:22
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. - Leviticus 20:13
Surely you know that the people who do wrong will not inherit God's kingdom. Do not be fooled. Those who sin sexually, worship idols, take part in adultery, those who are male prostitutes, or men who have sexual relations with other men, those who steal, are greedy, get drunk, lie about others, or rob—these people will not inherit God's kingdom. In the past, some of you were like that, but you were washed clean. You were made holy, and you were made right with God in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. - 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
Bottom line: the Bible describes the act of homosexual intimacy as wrong.
Okay. Another deep breath...in, out. My fellow Christians are probably wondering how I could possibly argue for gay marriage after these verses. Well, stay tuned.
These are the foundations for my belief in gay marriage:
- I hold to the Bible's viewpoint that homosexuality, in PRACTICE, is immoral. I do NOT hold to the view that people who identify as bisexual, lesbian, or gay are more sinful than those who identify as straight.
- I strongly believe in the separation of church and state. As one Internet writer puts it, "Since our government is secular and nonsectarian, any argument for making law should be likewise. If one's personal opposition to gay marriage is rooted in a theological stance, one should attempt to translate it into secular principles understandable by anyone no matter what their religion. 'My god said so' is not translatable that way so it has no place in the debate over law." I have yet to see a non-religious argument against gay marriage (i.e. effects on children, etc.) that does not have equally strong counter-arguments. Do any of these arguments against gay marriage hold any water? Maybe. But it's dangerous to make such assertions when there is no semblance of consensus. Are Christians really willing to put all their marbles into the claims of a few scientists and a handful of studies? If other studies disprove these in the coming years, Christians will be considered the laughing stock of politics--even more than they already are--and any case against gay marriage will likely die forever.
- I am thoroughly sick of homosexuality being treated as a "worse" sin than anything else. The moment we attack active homosexuality, we must also attack lying, greed, and divorce with equal vigor. Many Christians I know paint active homosexuals as disgusting freaks, while those who acknowledge struggles with pornography or greed are commended for their transparency and vulnerability. To me, this is hypocritical--even Pharisaical.
- America has always been about freedom and civil rights. Homosexuals deserve the same legal rights as everyone else, as do other sinners, i.e. liars and the greedy. If this means that gay marriage must be legalized to afford active homosexuals these rights (i.e. survivor benefits, healthcare, social security, etc.), then it needs to be legalized. It is up to homosexual Christians to do the right thing by willfully abstaining from marriage, not by being forbidden from it. [Read more about gay marriage and civil rights here.]
John Bryson Chane, an Episcopal bishop, writes, "Christians have always argued about marriage. Jesus criticized the Mosaic law on divorce, saying "What God has joined together let no man separate." But we don't see clergy demanding that the city council make divorce illegal." What makes gay marriage so much worse than divorce? [Read the rest of his article here.]
It is not our job to try to force Christianity and the Bible's views onto others. We are called to spread the Gospel to others, not turn them away from it. Thus, we need to represent Christianity in a way that makes it attractive to others. This does NOT mean we are people pleasers who let sin run rampant, but does mean that we need to consider the reactions of others when we speak and act.
This is the bottom line for me: What good does it do for the cause of Christianity to fight gay marriage with such vehemence? In my limited experience, it only drives others away from God. Non-Christians I've spoken with are utterly confused and angered by Christianity's "closed-minded" and condemning viewpoint regarding homosexuality. Very rarely is the topic of homosexuality broached by Christians with love, grace, mercy, and the acknowledgement that we are all equally fallen in the eyes of our Savior. Once it can be discussed cordially, with mutual respect, we can return to the public eye and discuss the Bible's take on homosexuality. But it is not the Bible's job to dictate America's legislation. Morality is what needs to be legislated; we cannot, not should we attempt to, legislate religion. I have yet to see a moral argument for the banning of same-sex marriage that stands up outside of Christian circles.
I find many Christian publications arguing against same-sex marriage to be utterly offensive. One of the most highly-esteemed Christian thinkers of the 20th Century, whom I will not name, wrote an article entitled 'The Problem of Same-Sex "Marriage".' Did you catch that? The author put the word "marriage" in parentheses. Why was that necessary?? The same author writes later, "The gay activists argue that a gay couple can provide just as stable an environment for raising children. They are, however, dead wrong. For one thing, they overlook the predominantly short-term, nonexclusive character of most gay relationships."
That last line hit me like a slap in the face. "Predominantly short-term"?? "Nonexclusive"? How stereotypical. Obviously, a short-term and/or nonexclusive home would be an unhealthy and less-than-ideal environment for raising children. Can I think of any homes like that? Yeah, actually, I can, and none of them are homosexual. Some are even Christian. According to this website, the current US divorce rate is 50%. The heterosexual divorce rate. If we're going to start making arguments like this one, we might as well ban having children due to the likelihood of them being raised in an unstable environment.
It frustrates me that the only acceptable position on homosexuality for Christians is that gay marriage needs to be banned. Christians such as myself who believe that active homosexuality is not God's plan for us, but also believe that is not a good enough reason to ban gay marriage in a secular nation are seen as lesser Christians, and their political views seen as absolute heresy. I'm asking you, my readers, to prove me wrong.
Sadly,
Amy
PS - My next post will be on baking with peaches. This is plenty of political commentary for me for a good long while.
